Why is it that every year, there are ten times more gun deaths per capita in the USA than in Canada? This is the question asked by Michael Moore’s new movie, Bowling for Columbine, and the answer isn’t as obvious as you’d think.

Canada has a similar number of guns per capita as the USA. Moore asks why Americans use theirs so often against each other, exploring the paranoia that motivates Americans to arm themselves and makes them so trigger-happy.

The film is sometimes shocking, often hilarious. Moore gets a free gun for opening an account at a bank. He asks Charlton Heston why he had an NRA rally in Denver, 10 days after the Columbine shootings. He shows horrific security camera footage of the massacre. Among his other interviews are Marilyn Manson and the one guy they couldn’t convict in the Oklahoma City bombing. “If you’re not armed, you’re in dereliction of duty”, says one Michigan Militia man.

It’s scary, it’s sad, it’s extremely funny, and despite all that, it’s worth seeing just because you’ll laugh your ass off at the way in which we Canadians are portrayed.

The truly tragic thing is, this gem that should be seen by all won’t be seen by many. Even in our city which I like to think of as evolved, it’s only playing at the AMC. In Washington, DC, it’s playing in three theaters. It’s rated R, so teenagers won’t see it.

See this movie.

Good old Dubya has nixed a project approved by Congress to spend 34 million $ on women’s health in foreign countries. This project would have promoted contraception in the third world and worked against the spread of AIDS and the practice of genital mutilation. Oh, and by the way, he wants to spend 135 million $ domestically on promoting abstinence.

Fine. But George also wants to appoint W. David Hager as chairman of the Food and Drug Administration’s panel on women’s health policy. Hager is a gynecologist who will not prescribe the pill to unmarried women, will not insert IUDs or perform abortions. He is working towards having the FDA’s approval for the abortion pill reversed.

That’s not even the kicker. According to Hager, the man who could be making policy about women’s health, a good cure for PMS is reading the Bible. I’d like to see him try that at a women’s prison, where the inmates’ cycles are all synchronized.

I’m going to see Bowling for Columbine tonight, so I’m pretty sure my opinion of American policy isn’t about to improve.

(Thanks for the link Gene)

Guess the dictator or sitcom character.

Did it work for you?

1. Tonight I sneezed into my windshield and then I couldn’t see.

2. I forgot to watch the frikkin’ game!!! The first game of the season I’m actually here to see!

Oh well, there’s a period left.

Thank you for your support.

Update: KOIVU SCORES!!!! and it’s a beauty. This is the best game there is.

Can you tell I don’t have much to say today?

I’m very happy to be home, but I’m leaving again tomorrow.

And so that this isn’t a completely boring post, and also to keep you amused until I return, faithful reader, I offer you squirrel porn!

Have a great weekend!

My last post about coffee sparked a discussion on a mailing list I have with my friends.

Wrote Doctor Wank:

I agree with the water [in coffee] being important. The water in the lab here is craptacular, so I go get it from a nearby drinking fountain. Even that makes a difference. If you could get some of that bottled water the Japanese make from 30 millennia-old icebergs, then I bet… well, I bet you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, but it would still be cool!

That reminds me. The other day, in the Quartier Latin, I went by that water bar we heard so much about when they opened it. There, you can get water from all over the world, at all sorts of prices. This is one of those things I think I’ll pass on.

Am I the only one who thinks, life ain’t bad at all if we have water bars? Is this where we MPEGs are headed? Has anyone tried this?

The coffee here is incredible. The coffee in Spain is fantastic. The coffee in Belgium, France and Scandinavia is wonderful. The best coffee I’ve ever had is in Java. It actually had a creamy, rich, sweet taste, like it had Bailey’s in it or something. Everywhere except in North America, the default coffee you get is superb by our standards.

In North America, you can get okay coffee if you ask for it, but then that gets really complicated, doesn’t it? You have to know to call it a “mezzo-caff frappaccino with cinnamon but hold the chocolate sprinkles, no whip. What? Oh, to go. Uh, sorry, I mean With Wings“.

The default coffee you get when you simply order “coffee” in North America is the filtered, bitter hot water most of us have grown used to and actually like. I used to get irritated with people who demanded more than that; I considered it “coffee snobbery”. I once berated my dear friend Captain Dramatic for returning coffee at the Brûlerie St-Denis. It wasn’t bad coffee, it didn’t have salt instead of sugar in it, it just wasn’t all that good. I said he was being a “Mamby-Pamby Euro-Git” (yes, an MPEG).

Well, I’ve converted to “coffee snobbery”. I’m the MPEG. I don’t think it’s snobby to expect great coffee when everyone else in the world is drinking it. I’ve never been any place where people have been satisfied with such low-quality coffee as the kind we drink. I don’t think there’s a pagoda, an igloo, a cave outside North America where people drink it.

All I’m saying is, we should change the North American default. This is one area in which we could take a lesson from… take your pick, anywhere else.

…”SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!” in Spanish.

Trying to give a course in this country is like trying to herd cats. There are six people in the class, each with a cellphone that rings easily once an hour, which they answer half the time. In addition there are two ground lines that ring and ring without anyone answering them.

I’m giving the course in a corner of a large room, where other people are also working, and speaking loudly. They also like to play the radio once in a while, Latino music of course.

Right next to where I’m standing, there’s an extremely squeaky door through which people keep going, back and forth.

None of the students speak English. The interpreter likes to stuff his face with peanuts while he’s translating. Consequently, he often doesn’t give them my warnings fast enough (”now, before you do anything…”) and so they keep clicking what they shouldn’t.

I thought teaching was the one thing I had endless patience for. I was wrong.

Serenity now, serenity now…

183 dead (so far) in a blast in Kuta, Bali. 7 dead in Helsinki.

Indonesia and Finland are about as different as two beautiful places can be. I have visited and been in love with both. Over the past week I’ve been vaguely concerned for my welfare here in Caracas, and more worried about my upcoming trip to the Washington, D.C. area. These concerns have made me slightly more anxious to be home.

But now, I see beloved, familiar places on the news, the sites of violence and death. I find that extremely disturbing; it’s like a line has been crossed. Bali? Finland? I realize the two incidents have nothing to do with each other, but still it makes me think that there is no safe place.

Nevertheless, I’ll still probably feel much better in Montreal (Wednesday night, cross your fingers), but let’s not be naive: this is everyone’s problem.

. jo is god 100 - Uh, thanks Mom. Seriously, you think this has to do with those shootings in Washington?

. matt the destroyer ship penis - Oh yeah, that one’s obvious…

. broke anal - If I had this kind of content, I could charge admission.