Last year, for my 30th birthday, T threw me the mother of all parties, complete with live band, lots of lava lamps and people. I even got to swing dance with lightspeeddad.

This year, I was wondering how to celebrate my 31st. I threw a house party relatively recently (December’s glögg party), and I thought an actual outing might be too expensive for some people to attend. So I was thinking and thinking… hockey game? broomball? hm…

Then, unaware that I’m wondering about this, Captain Dramatic sends around this idea about a Tequila and Porn party, usually held around Valentine’s Day (my birthday). Great timing.

Hey, it’s an idea…

Update: You know, that post was a joke. I was kidding. But I’ve gotten lots of enthusiastic e-mails of the “I AM SO THERE!” variety… my friends are strange and perverted. Last time I tried watching porn at a party (in cegep), I was annoyed because nobody would shut up so I couldn’t follow the story.

Visited Iris in Toronto this weekend. It’s a very nice city, with lots of trendy lounges and pretty walking districts. I figure I could live there if I absolutely had to, because I think after a while I’d get tired of how hard it apparently is to make friends there, and the relative absence of the French language.

Saw Hable Con Ella again, which everyone enjoyed, even the guys, then went to a hip pasta bar where Gord got his wallet “stolen” out of the coat check. He spent the rest of the evening on the phone with cops and credit card companies, only to find his wallet, the next day on the drive home, in the very coat pocket that he had frantically checked several times the night before.

Reminds me of an even stupider thing a friend of a friend of mine did. Drunk after bar hopping, he took a cab home and left his car in a parking lot. The next day, it was gone, along with his golf clubs in the back seat. Cops, insurance company, etc. Several weeks later, the cops found his car in the parking lot of the bar next to the one where the guy said he’d left his car.

Can you beat that for embarrassment involving law enforcement?

Excerpt:

LORD ARAGORN: Well, my two trusty companions — Legolas, the Strangely Tall Elf; and Gimli, the Comic Relief Dwarf — in our subplot, we are pursuing Merry and Pippin, who have been captured by Orcs, and now we find ourselves in the Kingdom of Rohan, ruled by King Theoden, whose niece, Eowyn, will become my second love interest once the king is released from the spell cast by his trusted counselor, Grima Wormtongue, who is secretly in league with the evil wizard Saruman!

LEGOLAS: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

LORD ARAGORN: Me either. I’m just reading the script.

GIMLI: Well, I’m really short!

(Laughter)

LORD ARAGORN: But enough explanatory dialogue. It’s time for one of the estimated 17 big sword-clanging battles we have in this movie with hideous computer-generated monsters who always outnumber us by the thousands, although we defeat them every time, because we are courageous heroes!

LEGOLAS: Also, they have the hand-to-hand-combat skills of alfalfa.

MONSTERS: Arrrrrr.

SWORDS: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

For the rest, visit Dave Barry at the Miami Herald.

With the guy who’s supposed to help me set up a course I’m giving in Trois-Rivières, in March.

Him: I just added two more participants - they’re highlighted in yellow on the list.
Me: Uh, you forgot the attachment. Can you send it ASAP? I’m working on the training calendar right now.
Him: Can you call me? I have a question.
(I call)
Him: What do you mean by “attachment”?

I was re-reading my about me section recently, and I thought that for the record, I should set certain things straight, as some things there are no longer true.

27. There is now only one piece of furniture in my apartment that is not from Ikea.

31. Addicted to travel? The year 2002 took me to Calgary, Texas, California, Baltimore, Venezuela, Belgium and Spain. I’m over the addiction, for a while.

33. Magic mushrooms are the only drug I’ve ever tried, and there was no effect. This is no longer true.

This summer, Paul gave T and me some hash brownies. He told me we were not to exceed the recommended dosage which was, we thought, ridiculously small. But thankfully, we obeyed.

We ate the innocent-looking brownies and put on Pulp Fiction. About half an hour later, I couldn’t stop laughing because T had sneezed. In trying to explain why I thought it was funny, I couldn’t get past “Sometimes, something happens…” before bursting out again.

Anyway, later on I got the munchies and went to the convenience store for food. There’s always some drunken throwback at my convenience store, and that time was no different. Aware that I was stoned, I tried to keep to myself as much as possible, and just to walk in, get a bag of Doritos, pay and walk out.

I get to the cash register, and there are a few people hanging around, talking to the cashier, but right now they’re quiet. The drunk comes up behind me and slurs something incomprehensible, but my mind hears “I’m going to kill you, you bastard”. All of a sudden I “realize” he’s robbing the place (the hand in his pocket MUST conceal a gun) and the people there are quiet because they’re scared. I think one of the patrons is giving me a look to tell me “get out of here and get the cops”. So I say to the cashier “I understand”, drop my Doritos on the counter and walk out.

Of course, in reality, some weird chick came in, brought a bag of Doritos to the counter and said “I understand” before walking out.

No, I didn’t call the cops.

Last week:
They fired my boss
They fired my colleague
We’re moving to downtown offices
I’m moved to the marketing department

This week:
New responsibilities, increased workload, no longer bored!
I can take public transportation to work
I can get involved in new things
I survived the cut

There are people there, you know…

Work: my boss, and one of our group of five, were let go yesterday. Our group now answers to the Senior VP… of marketing. Weird. That’s all I’m going to say about that here.

Life: my landlady called. I’m no longer evicted. She feels bad and will replace the bathroom vanity and sink next month.

I never saw any of this shit in my horoscope…

Lots of nasty and momentous changes have been happening at the office lately, and I’ve really been meaning to talk about it here. I’m posting inanities mostly, when there are these big things going on, and that feels ridiculous.

But I’m reluctant. I’ve read horror stories of people losing their jobs for blogging about them. Even when they didn’t name company names, people names, or even their own name. I think that was only in the States, but still.

What do you think? Insights? Comments? Advice?

Origami boulders.

(thanks Dr. Wank)