Don’t reality shows suck? Isn’t it annoying how people who watch them go on and on about it? How irritating it is to turn on the radio and have the hosts rehash all the details of a show whose characters I don’t know, and talk about it like it really matters.

Right now, all I seem to be hearing about is American Idol. Debates abound about whether so-and-so is only there because she’s hot, whether Frenchie should have been booted off for appearing in porn, etc. In light of recent world events, I honestly DON’T CARE who gets voted off next. Unless of course it’s that cutie Clay Aiken.

Back when Joe Millionaire was on, I couldn’t stand it when people at work or brunch would debate ad nauseam which one of the girls really cared about him, and which one was simply after a big chunk of change. They’d go on and on about whether he should pick Melissa, Mojo, Sarah or Zara. Everyone knows Zara was the obvious choice.

Yes, dear reader, allow me to expose one of the things I’m most ashamed of. I’ve managed to keep my reality show habit to following one at a time, but I seem unable to shake it entirely. Every time one of the series ends, I get suckered into another one. Reality TV is truly abysmal, but why can’t I look away?

(Go Clay!)

The Brunching Shuttlecocks take on blogging:

we’ve at long last done away with the archaic idea that publishing is the private playground of people who have ideas, experiences, and opinions. As thousands of online journals and weblogs have demonstrated, the important thing is to make sure that you let your friends and the world at large know what you’re doing and thinking, even if you’re not actually doing or thinking anything.

A sample from their automated Apathetic Online Journal Entry Generator:

“Basically nothing noteworthy going on these days. My mind is like an empty room. Today was a total loss, but it’s not important. I’ve just been staying at home waiting for something to happen, but so it goes. I’ve just been letting everything wash over me, but that’s how it is. ”

Sad? True? What do you think?

“My brother-in-law’s going to fix that chest of drawers in my room, so we can bring it with us.”
- Oh God. I hate that ugly piece of crap. How can you have such impeccable taste, but like that abomination? Can’t we please give it to the poor?
- It’s a family heirloom. It was in my father’s bedroom when he was a kid.
- T, it’s f*cking ugly.
- Yeah, well I hate your space couch. It’s not comfy.
- Hey! When I bought that I asked for your approval because I knew you’d have to live with it.
- Tell you what. I’m not bringing the bureau if you don’t bring the couch.
- Deal!
- I’ll just stow the bureau at my mom’s.
- Whoa, whoa! That’s not fair! I can’t stow the couch, so I’m giving it up forever, whereas you can always get the bureau back.
- (Sigh).
- Okay, okay. Fine. Deal. So, what are we going to get to replace the space couch?
- Well, we’ll buy something with the moving fund. I was thinking bright orange.
- Cool! So, what are we left with in the moving fund?
- Let’s see… Moving truck rental, new coffee table, pizza and beer for the movers, five appliances, hydro and cable transfer fees, curtains…
- Yeah…
- Uh, so, maybe if we got those bright orange cushions for the space couch, I could live with it…
- Do you think your brother-in-law could change the handles on that bureau?

Much as I try to work, all I seem to be doing is drawing floorplan upon floorplan of the new apartment, and perusing Ikea’s online catalog. I am living a scene out of Fight Club.

Still, little victories abound. Like the fact that they do have the Granat cushion in orange. How could I ever have been complete without it?

Can’t wait to shop for a cat.