Exerpt from an e-conversation with Gord today:

Gord: [The movie Troy] will be good, I swear by my father’s blade!
Me: Uh, didn’t you burn your father’s blade in front of his house, when you were a kid?
Gord: Well, actually it was my blade. My father just supervised the correct method of burning a rune-coverd blade. At midnight. On Halloween. After all, if you had a thirteen-year-old son who wanted to trap a soul in a burning blade on the witching hour of all-hallows-eve, wouldn’t you want proper fire safety?

Dr Wank writes today about Alliance MP Larry Spencer’s statements, that homosexuality is part of a “well orchestrated” conspiracy that should be outlawed. Spencer says this began in the 1960s and included the seduction and recruitment of young boys in playgrounds and locker rooms.

Dr Wank writes: See now, this is why we need an Alliance party, so the loons can all hang out together and not bother anybody else. Now the new Conservative Party is going to hide them all inside a wall of apparent legitimacy…

Hear hear.

In case some of you don’t know, in the original Star Wars movie, the hero Han Solo had an argument with bounty hunter Greedo, and shot him. In the re-released version, the scene was changed so that Greedo shot first and missed (sitting across the table from Solo). This made the scene very artificial and was a highly unpopular move on the part of Lucas. In fact, the only good thing about Kevin Smith’s Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was the line “that’s the stupidest idea since Greedo shoots first!”.

Well, Bill now tells me they’re going to restore the scene in yet another version of the movie (a version in which the crusty old man under Vader’s mask is going to be played by the abysmal Hayden Christiensen). Similarly, the recently released version of E.T. has the extra-terrestrial being chased, not by men with guns, but by men with… walkie-talkies!?

I’m not sure I agree with this idea of adapting movies to modern times. They are a testament of the period at which they are made, and though they age, this is often what makes them enlightening to watch. I lent a friend The Godfather recently, and he said it was good, but would never fly nowadays. Too slow, too long. I agree, but are we supposed to make a 90-minute, 2003 version? What’s next, Marilyn weighs 90 pounds in Some Like it Hot? Ilse leaves with Rick? Pretty in Pink v3.0, service pack 4?

Even worse, DVD technology is now keeping directors from having to make difficult decisions altogether. In the LOTR trilogy, Peter Jackson has admitted he doesn’t know what to do with the death of Saruman scene. For pacing reasons, the scene doesn’t work anywhere in Return of the King. So he’s decided to put it in the DVD version only. Hence, the most important villain of the two first movies doesn’t get killed off in the theatrical version.

I think Peter Jackson should do what all directors have had to do up to now, and find a way to make his movie work. I think what he’s doing is cheating. And he won’t be the last.

So, I regularly log into my DVDHype account, to set up the prioritized list of movies I wish to receive.

Well, I log in this morning and see that on the list are now National Geographic: The Battle for Midway and Transformers 1 of 8. Above my Pride and Prejudice, no less.

Well what do you know, T’s finally using the password I gave him. Guess my guitar playing will be getting better over the next few weeks. Unless I fill up the list with Guitar Drills Discs 1 through 10. Mwahahah…

So guys, if Saruman’s not in ROTK, then how in the seven hells does Pippin get the Palantir?

(to non-dork readers: we’ll return to our regular programming soon, promise)

I agreed with all the decisions Peter Jackson made when adapting The Fellowship of the Ring into a movie (like, for example, cutting Tom Bombadil and replacing Glorfindel with Arwen). Some said that things had been added that weren’t from the books (like Arwen’s choice), but they were usually things that Tolkien had written either in the Appendices to LOTR, or in other books. Therefore, canonical. And total candy for the real fans.

When I saw The Two Towers theatrical release, however, I had two major gripes: 1) The Palantir chapter, which I’d expected to see, wasn’t in the movie. This is a major Pippin moment so I was sorely disappointed. 2) Faramir, my second favorite character in the books, had been turned into another Boromir. Moreover, he decides to let Frodo go after seeing Frodo offer the Ring to a Nazgul! What gives? Although I didn’t really understand the other changes (e.g. the Wargs), they didn’t bother me as much as this.

I calmed down about Major Gripe #1 when I realized this would be told in ROTK. I was looking forward to the extended version of TTT to see what they’d do about Major Gripe #2.

(ok, spoilers)

Well, they’ve added an entire scene which clearly shows that Faramir was much less respected by his father than older brother Boromir. This desire to please his father provides some explanation for his behavior toward Frodo and the Ring (this is clearer if you’ve read the books). Not a perfect absolution, but an improvement. Faramir still comes off seeming like a weakling, especially compared to how incredibly cool, noble and strong-willed he is in the book.

Most of the other additions are little details that the bring the movies closer to the books (with lots of Pippinny goodness), but don’t add much other than slowing down the pace. Examples: Frodo and Sam use Elven rope to climb, Pippin and Merry drink Ent Draft and grow, Treebeard talks about the Entwives. It’s understandable that Jackson took them out of the theatrical release and restored them for the true fans in this extended edition.

(spoilers over)

So, as a huge fan I liked it. But from a totally “movie that works” standpoint, the lightspeedchick cut of TTT would be simply the theatrical release, plus the scene with Faramir’s father.

(image from The One Ring)

Overheard at the office last week:

(I walk into some stereotypical older corp man’s office, and see that there’s another SOCM already there)
Me: Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.
SOCM #1 (jokingly): It’s okay, it’s not like I was hearing his confession [in the religious sense]. Why, do you have anything to confess?
Me: No need. I’m having dinner with my priest tonight.
SOCM #2: What? A real priest?
Me: Yep, a real, live Catholic priest.
SOCM #1: You have a priest?
Me: Well, I have a friend who became a priest.
SOCM #1 (looks at me funny): How old is he?
Me: Mid-thirties.
SOCM #2: That’s rare.
Me: I know. He’s had articles in the paper written about him because young new priests are so rare.
SOCM #1: Must be an interesting person.
Me: That he most certainly is. It’s always interesting to hear his take on things, which is often so different from anyone else’s.
SOCM #2: What do you normally talk about?
Me: You know, philosophy, theology, society…
SOCM #2 (interested): So, what are you guys going to talk about tonight?
Me: I’d guess Matrix Revolutions.

Anyway, I thought this was a fitting way to introduce my dear friend Tom, who has recently started a blog. His topics range from the meaning of chastity, to a review of one of Keanu’s crappier movies, via the Grey Cup game. Give him a click!

Welcome to the blogosphere, Tom!

At lunch today I procured my copy of The Two Towers, extended version. It’s sitting here on my desk. It encloses 43 minutes of footage I’ve never seen. It encloses the answers to all the questions I’ve been asking myself since last December. It even encloses new, never-before-seen Pippinny goodness.

There’s a DVD player on my workstation. DVD, DVD player. A foot apart.

And they call me impatient. I am a bastion, a citadel, a fortress of fortitude and patience today.

But I’m going home at four, fer sure.

Getting medieval on Sauron’s ass, tomorrow.

I just checked my e-mail only to find I had six new comments on my blog. Six! In the last hour! What is it I blogged that incensed so many? Surely some of it is comment spam.

Well, all of it was comment spam. Pissed off, I remembered that Patrick had recently posted a link to a comment spam manifesto in which the author exhorts bloggers to fight back. He says to comment spammers:

What you failed to understand is that bloggers are smarter, better connected, and more technologically savvy than the average email user. We control the medium that you are now attempting to exploit. You’ve picked a fight with us and it’s a fight you cannot win.

Bloggers will track you down and notify your hosting providers about your activities. We will tell your ISPs what you are using their connections for. We will let the makers of the products you are advertising know of your despicable sales methods. We will hit you where it hurts by attacking your source of income.

Inspired, I went to the site of the company that advertisement was for. I e-mailed them about what was going on, then I called them. Sunday, so no answer. But I’ll call them again. I’m currently trying to track down the spammer’s ISP as well.

I’m sorry if I’m reposting a lot of what Patrick already said, but I think it’s important that word get out.