Of what use are my woes, if not to amuse my dearest friends?

I find it interesting how some pieces of technology make it into the common vernacular, even though they do not actually exist. Most people know what a light saber, cyborg and a tractor beam are, though nobody’s actually ever used any of them.

One that I’ve been noticing getting more and more use is the electromagnetic pulse, or emp. This is basically a magnetic bomb that takes out all electrical devices in a given radius, whilst being harmless to living creatures. I first saw it being used in The Matrix to kill off the squiggly robots that attacked the heroes’ ship. Then, I thought nothing of using it myself in Ratchet Deadlocked to disable an electrical turret that was giving me grief. In the fourth season of 24, it was used to prevent Jack from hacking into a company’s files. And a few days later I saw it again in Serenity.

It gave me pause to consider; what is it about a piece of imaginary* technology that makes it become ubiquitous? How do you invent technology that is readily acceptable to audiences and other writers?

I think some of the following conditions probably apply:
- Must make physical common sense in the universe in which it exists;
- Must instinctively remind audiences of existing technologies;
- Must be realistic (i.e. have limitations, side effects, etc);
- Must achieve a result that is truly impossible with existing technology;
- Its properties must be easy to grasp - an evocative name, a simple and powerful effect, few extraneous properties. Audiences must know at once what can and cannot be done with this tool or weapon.

What do you think?

* According to my research, EMPs currently exist only as a side effect of nuclear blasts, but the EMP bomb per se, though it is being researched, has not yet been built.

I got this from Martine yesterday…

…after a few coworkers had proudly announced that they voted me Most Geeky for our upcoming end-of-the-year awards. My life holds few distinctions, but this is one I cherish with pride.

Today I learned that the universe is slightly beige. That’s right - if you add up the color of all the light in the universe, you end up with a slight off-white tint (it was originally thought to be greenish white, but the universe is a sort of beige, it turns out).

I wish I could take credit for the latte simile in the title of this post, but Cosmic Latte does seem to be the official name of the universe’s color. Other possible names include Big Bang Beige and Cappuccino Cosmico. Ils sont fous ces astronomes.

Now do I still need to defend my preference for non-fiction literature?

This is just what the title says.

Via the ever-charming Thomas (who, despite all the cutesy rebel X-wing stuff, still works for the Empire).

“I am not the Han Solo you’re looking for”.

Best line (of that kind, anyway) I’ve ever heard.

Overheard on the way to E3:

- Hey, this is a really nice picture of Anakin and Obi-Wan, wouldn’t you say?
- Yup. Check out those little hip pouches. I wonder what they carry in those.
- Extra batteries. You wouldn’t believe how many AAs those light sabers go through.
- Cellphones.
- It kinda looks like a DS. Maybe they have gameboys in there.
- Those multicolored things they have on their belts, looks like different flavors of condoms.
- They can’t have condoms, Jedis aren’t supposed to do it. Right? You know, the Force is actually just sperm buildup.
- Yeah well it’s In Case of Turning to the Dark Side…
- Yeah they wouldn’t want that to spread… The Jedi Council is still divided about whether to distribute condoms…
- Yeah maybe it actually promotes Turning.
- Why would they even need hip pouches anyway? I mean, they have the Force…
- Yeah, they could just have their stuff hovering around behind them all the time…
- In orbit around them… and they’d look like big atoms with all this stuff spinning around them…

Simpower over in Paolo’s comments has perfectly summed up my feelings about the new Star Wars trailer:

Damn, it looks good, but he’ll find a way to fuck it up.

E-mail exchange I had a while back:

Me: So my dad and I were discussing this weekend who should play Wonder Woman in the upcoming movie. I said Carrie-Anne Moss would be good, but he said she doesn’t have enough of a rack. What do you think?

Dr Wank: I think I love your dad.

Jokes aside, I love Wonder Woman, so this is an important question. Rumor has come out that it’s a tossup between Kim Basinger (I know, I know… huh?) and Jessica Biel. I had no idea who this JB chick was, but after looking at a few pictures, I have to say that I provisionally approve, something I never thought I’d do. To me the most important thing in casting for WW is that she should be a real amazon who could kick butt, not some anorexic stick with thin “yoga arms”… Someone powerful-looking like the way she looks in this picture. JB isn’t exactly that, but she’s probably closer than a lot of the actresses being considered.

Go ahead, tell me your opinions on the matter, tell me who could play her.

(illustration by Alex Ross)

Jane over at Game Girl Advance makes some Valentine’s Day present suggestions for that special geekette in your life.

She says of the Logitech Wireless Controller for PS2: All right, maybe it’s not the most romantic of gifts, but it’ll last a lot longer than red roses. And let’s face it, it’s less embarrassing to walk home with one of those, right?…