Nobody hated sharks more than I did growing up. I couldn’t even look at a picture of them without being nauseous, and I’ve never swam (swum?) in the ocean because of it. But when I saw this trailer I was intrigued.

Sharkwater just came out on DVD and I highly recommend it. Watching it this morning did make me nauseous, but only at the human indifference portrayed and the weight of the consequences. When you see what’s happening to the oceans and to the world’s top predator, you will not stand for it.

Alex rightly complains (en français mes chéris) that the towns of Hampstead and TMR are handing out free poop bags to dog owners… Whilst any purchase of anything is accompanied by a free plastic bag. Need we have more? Boneheads.

My borough is moving from the recycling bin to the recycling bag next week. At first I thought that the people who’d decided this had probably thought it through (yeah, sometimes I’m Zen like that, but it doesn’t last). However, the main reason seems to be that recyclables in bins tend to fly away (and all end up on my terrasse). Why then, can’t they give us a bin cover and pick up recycling more often, so the bins aren’t so full? (see what I mean about the Zen?) But my main gripe is that one has to pick up the recycling bags at the eco-quartier (open, like, 11-3 on alternate Wednesdays), and starting next year, pay for them. Bravo, way to make it much harder for people to recycle. You’re going the wrong way… BONEHEADS. 

On the upside, today I noticed that I’m actually down to two plastic bags (from this many) in my cupboard, all others having been reused. Happy Earth Day all. Write to your local boneheads, please.

I have seen people start life out with many strikes against them, and succeed, and I’ve seen the reverse. I believe that in Canada, individuals are to a good extent in control of their ultimate condition in life. I feel that as a member of the middle class, I am overtaxed without having need (and especially access) to most of the social programs financed by said taxes. I do not believe any one lifestyle choice (like being childless and taking a high paying job, or staying home and having lots of kids) should be penalized by the state.

I strongly believe in the separation of Church and State, but I think some recent blanket bans on religious iconology in schools are excessive and xenophobic.

I believe governments should establish and maintain serious, long- and short-term measures to reduce global warming.

I believe in the right to abortion, in gay rights to marriage and adoption.

I think it’s important to protect French in Quebec. I believe the province has been given adequate power to do so, and has done so efficiently. I believe the language is well-protected and no longer threatened. C’est assez. 

I believe that basic medical care should be accessible to everyone, but I think it would be best overall if people who can afford it could pay for faster treatment. 

I abhor unions. I believe in the defense of basic workers’ rights, of course, but I also believe that companies should compete for the best qualified resources by offering attractive working conditions. I don’t believe in a system that is based on an adversarial relationship between employers and employees. Meritocracy has its flaws, but it’s more productive, and I believe conducive to happiness than the blind hatred of The Man I’ve seen in unionized industries.

Some of my values contradict each other, some of them contradict yours I’m sure. But they reflect what I think we should be talking about and working on. As much as I would like my values to decide what I do in three weeks, they won’t. What’s most important to me is to make sure Quebec doesn’t spend any more time, energy and money on such an out-dated and low-priority diversion as separation, but rather on the issues here. Therefore, I will vote for the party most likely to keep the PQ out of power, whoever that is. Doesn’t that suck?

My friend Dr Wank, a psychology professor at the University of Ottawa, holds as his first maxim of human behavior that People are Stupid.

A lot of the history I’ve been reading confirms this, but this morning, a particularly sad example of it popped up in my feeds:

Radio station holds a contest to see who can drink the most water without peeing, for the grand prize of a Wii.
Yes, the obvious puns are made.
DJs make jokes about previous water intoxication deaths and responsibility waivers as contestant has bad symptoms on air.
People call in to warn about water intoxication risk.
Contest continues.
Contestant dies.

Q.E.D.

I’ve been reading a lot of history recently, and it’s caused me lose pretty much any faith in god I had left. This isn’t a good thing. I believe it’s a more meaningful, less lonely world if there’s something else out there, but I can’t make myself believe in it if I don’t.

At my family Christmas dinner, an aunt asked me how I’d been, and I had the ill-advised impulse to launch into a born-again agnostic rant in response. To my surprise, despite the horrible timing, everyone was quite open to my views.

Douglas Adams says about religion,

“If someone votes for a party that you don’t agree with, you’re free to argue about it as much as you like; everybody will have an argument but nobody feels aggrieved by it. … But on the other hand, if somebody says ‘I mustn’t move a light switch on a Saturday’, you say ‘I respect that.’”

Well, it seemed that agnosticism had also reached that status of unimpeachable opinion, at least in my family.

Half an hour later, the conversation turned from God to Céline. Bolstered by the previous open discussion (and wine?), I was candid about my views on the diva. Sure, she’s extremely talented and… uh… thin? but I can’t help but be embarrassed as a French Canadian whenever I watch an interview with her, because she comes off as a flake at the best of times, and a complete moron at the worst.

That’s all it took for the golden gates of open debate and mutually respectful exchange to slam shut. Tears shone in my aunt’s angry eyes as she defended the songstress, so vehemently and emotionally that I left the house to wish the neighbors a good yule. As I crossed the cold street and felt the tension dissipate, I made a mental note on future family party etiquette. God touchable, Céline not.

In this year of environmental wake-up calls, T wrapped my gift in reused paper and plastic and still managed to make it look attractive.

(It was Stefie Shock’s new album, Les Vendredis).

-What’s the matter?

-I can’t sleep.

-Why, what’s wrong?

-I’m worried about global warming.

Of course I’ve always known it was a problem, and in fact, the trailer makes it sound like the movie will only restate what we already know. But it doesn’t. I didn’t know how bad - and how immediate - global warming was until I’d seen An Inconvenient Truth. The Scotsmontonian and I rented it this weekend, and we had to pause it to let our heads stop spinning. That night I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that my condo might be under water within my lifetime. My condo, Old Montreal, the Netherlands, San Francisco - basically my home and those of about 100 million other people, too. Watching it felt like waking up.

Most ecological warning documentaries are so incredibly dire that you are discouraged from believing that true global change can come from local action. Probably the most amazing thing about An Inconvenient Truth is that while is probably the most alarming ecological warning I’ve ever seen, it managed to convince me, for the first time in years, that action isn’t futile.

There’s something about watching it in during a green Christmas season in Montreal that just brings the whole thing into sharp focus, too.

Innocently flipping through the channels this morning, I happened upon an Olympic hockey game. Oh, it’s men’s hockey and Canada’s playing. Oh, we’re WHAT? Losing to Switzerland in third period!!! Surely this is bad fiction, or archive footage from some moments-to-forget reel… But no, this abomination is happening right as I write.

The Canadians, all of them professionals, are getting their millionnaire asses handed to them by Switzerland. Not Sweden (which would be bad enough), not Belarus.

Switzerland.

And now Vincent Lecavalier just got TWELVE penalty minutes. Thanks, asshat. Couldn’t you have played like this in your last playoffs against Montreal?

My Hockey Tourette’s is in full form this morning.

UPDATE: Paul DiPietro, who scored both goals for Switzerland, was born in Sault Ste-Marie, uh… CANADA. Somebody needs to go Jack Bauer on his ass.

…one.

At least it’s a minority government.

UPDATE - More blessings:
- NPD gains seats
- Bloc loses seats
- Canadians show government that screwing them is a no-no
- Buh-bye Paul.

(allllways look on the briiiiiiight… siiide of life…)

Scientists breed glow-in-the-dark green pigs.

Still no cure for cancer.