Blasphemous rumor of the day: the Pope is not dying. He’s actually already dead but they didn’t tell us because it was Easter. Y’think?

Highly offensive VW ad. But where did it come from?

(Thanks Stephane)

…the gun-toting, frames-using, bad-grammar-in-domain-names people of America are not sorry. Well, I’m not linking them. Neener.

Enlightened Americans are sorry. I’m sorry too, guys.

(Thanks Benj)

This had to happen.

(link from Steph)

You IDIOTS!

Rumor has it Bush is receiving guidance during debates via a wireless device. The article has a picture of an apparently-telltale bulge in the back of his jacket.

(Thanks Dr. Wank)

Sometimes I see the world as an Apprentice episode.

The Apprentice is my favorite show. There is a clearly defined goal, and the team that achieves it best wins. The manager of the losing team faces Donald Trump, bringing up to three other members of his team (usually the ones responsible for the loss) with him. The Donald grills the manager and his teammates, then fires one of them.

This morning I encountered two different fundraising efforts for the same cause. On my yogurt container, it says if I send them back the lid, they will give 10 cents to the breast cancer foundation.

Let me get this straight.

If I give (at least, not counting packaging) 49 cents to Canada Post, breast cancer research gets 10 cents. Isn’t it better if I pick up the phone and donate 49 cents to cancer research?

While I’m pondering this, I see a TV ad for Mix 96’s Shave to Save campaign. They are encouraging people to get a bunch of their workmates together, convince at least one woman from the office to have her head shaved, and raise 2000$ for breast cancer research, and they’ll send a celebrity to shave said head.

Oh, and they’re taking the hair and making wigs for cancer patients with it.

This campaign raised over 350,000$ last year. It would take 3.5 million lids for Yoplait’s campaign to achieve this. One out of each 10 Canadians buying the right yogurt, packaging the lid, going to the post office and mailing it out.

Hm. Guess who’s fired in my book?

(lightspeed note #1: I am not criticizing Yoplait’s good intentions for getting involved in this worthy cause, only their methods. I think more corporations should behave like good citizens. So if you don’t know anyone who wants to shave their head, by all means send Yoplait a lid. Or donate the packaging and shipping money it would take you to do so.

lightspeed note #2: The Apprentice airs tonight at 9 PM EST on NBC)

Unfortunately, black holes are not wormholes to other dimensions, but rather, big balls of string.

They may regain some of their veneer of coolness if Hawking can find the grand cosmic space kitten to go with them.

(Merci Gamera)

My backache is back. Arg, I think it’s official, I’m a chronic back pain sufferer.

Like a good citizen, I call Info-Santé and ask for a few clinics in my area. I call them all.

#1 doesn’t make appointments, you have to go and wait. During working hours only, please.

#2 doesn’t take new patients. If this is your first time being sick, you’re out of luck.

#3 gives me an appointment. For July 20th.

Thank God I had some left over prescription drugs from last time (where I saw someone right away, in Ontario).

Who do I have to vote for to get drugs in a timely fashion? Back pain really sucks.