Innocently flipping through the channels this morning, I happened upon an Olympic hockey game. Oh, it’s men’s hockey and Canada’s playing. Oh, we’re WHAT? Losing to Switzerland in third period!!! Surely this is bad fiction, or archive footage from some moments-to-forget reel… But no, this abomination is happening right as I write.

The Canadians, all of them professionals, are getting their millionnaire asses handed to them by Switzerland. Not Sweden (which would be bad enough), not Belarus.

Switzerland.

And now Vincent Lecavalier just got TWELVE penalty minutes. Thanks, asshat. Couldn’t you have played like this in your last playoffs against Montreal?

My Hockey Tourette’s is in full form this morning.

UPDATE: Paul DiPietro, who scored both goals for Switzerland, was born in Sault Ste-Marie, uh… CANADA. Somebody needs to go Jack Bauer on his ass.

…one.

At least it’s a minority government.

UPDATE - More blessings:
- NPD gains seats
- Bloc loses seats
- Canadians show government that screwing them is a no-no
- Buh-bye Paul.

(allllways look on the briiiiiiight… siiide of life…)

Scientists breed glow-in-the-dark green pigs.

Still no cure for cancer.

Blasphemous rumor of the day: the Pope is not dying. He’s actually already dead but they didn’t tell us because it was Easter. Y’think?

Highly offensive VW ad. But where did it come from?

(Thanks Stephane)

…the gun-toting, frames-using, bad-grammar-in-domain-names people of America are not sorry. Well, I’m not linking them. Neener.

Enlightened Americans are sorry. I’m sorry too, guys.

(Thanks Benj)

This had to happen.

(link from Steph)

You IDIOTS!

Rumor has it Bush is receiving guidance during debates via a wireless device. The article has a picture of an apparently-telltale bulge in the back of his jacket.

(Thanks Dr. Wank)