Don’t reality shows suck? Isn’t it annoying how people who watch them go on and on about it? How irritating it is to turn on the radio and have the hosts rehash all the details of a show whose characters I don’t know, and talk about it like it really matters.

Right now, all I seem to be hearing about is American Idol. Debates abound about whether so-and-so is only there because she’s hot, whether Frenchie should have been booted off for appearing in porn, etc. In light of recent world events, I honestly DON’T CARE who gets voted off next. Unless of course it’s that cutie Clay Aiken.

Back when Joe Millionaire was on, I couldn’t stand it when people at work or brunch would debate ad nauseam which one of the girls really cared about him, and which one was simply after a big chunk of change. They’d go on and on about whether he should pick Melissa, Mojo, Sarah or Zara. Everyone knows Zara was the obvious choice.

Yes, dear reader, allow me to expose one of the things I’m most ashamed of. I’ve managed to keep my reality show habit to following one at a time, but I seem unable to shake it entirely. Every time one of the series ends, I get suckered into another one. Reality TV is truly abysmal, but why can’t I look away?

(Go Clay!)

Clip from The David Letterman Show, as shown on Larry King Live yesterday:

David Letterman: As you know, Saddam Hussein has invited George Bush to a live tv debate. We now have the Bush administration’s response. Watch:

(Patriotic American music, picture of the White House)
Voiceover: The White House has gladly accepted Bagdad’s invitation to a tv debate. The debate will follow a conventional format. It will start by a three-minute opening statement by Saddam Hussein…
(clip of Saddam Hussein speaking)
… and will be followed by a three-minute retaliatory statement by George Bush.
(clip of missiles over Bagdad, houses exploding, etc)

It was sadly funny.

So I was half-watching some show during dinner tonight, seemingly about the stupidest things people have said on game shows. Things like “No, I didn’t get any snow on my wedding day, but I got eight inches on my honeymoon. Oh, let me rephrase that.” Things like “Name an Arab country”. “Israel”. “Name the month during which a pregnancy starts to show”. “September”. You know.

Reminded me of a guy I once knew, whose name I’ll withhold to protect the innocent (in the Québécois sense of the word). We were talking about last names, and a friend of mine said, “Prescott is a great last name”. To which he replied, “Prescott, yeah, nice. Whose last name is that?”.
- It’s George’s.
- George who?

Speaking of hobbits, I’ve found a temporary home-grown substitute for my Pippin fixation. It is, after all, a full ten months before I get to see another installment of the Lord of the Rings. Believe it or not, Canada AM has now become part of my breakfast ritual. Yep, the only thing that’s worse than finding a hottie on the CBC, is finding a hottie on the CTV. What can I say? He’s even a Tolkien fan.

Meow TV. No, seriously.