He: So, who’s your favorite superhero?
Me: Well, maybe it’s just being named MJ, but I’ve always been a Spider-Man woman. Something about being able to swing around skyscrapers would be cool.
He: Spider-Man. Yeah, that makes sense.
Me: And Peter Parker would probably be a very caring guy who could make intelligent conversation.
He: But probably not very good in bed.
Me: No, Peter Parker’s just good for a serious relationship.
He: If it were just for bed and nothing else, then it would have to be…
Me: Someone like Wolverine.
He: You’re right. Bruce Wayne would probably be bad in bed too. No perversion there.
Me: Yeah, way too straight.
He: I’ll tell you who isn’t straight. Captain America. There’s a closet homo.
Me: Probably no good for me then either.
He: Nah, Wolverine as probably your best bet for just a lover.
Me: Or a f*ck friend. I mean, we could do stuff like go bowling, too.
He: What about Superman?
Me: Doesn’t do it for me. You ever read the Larry Niven story about whether Superman and Lois could actually do it? How it might actually be like a shotgun blast through her womb?
He: Heh heh. No. Guess he’d need a Kryptonite condom.
Me: Nah, that makes him impotent I bet. And even Superman would be paranoid about bringing anything like that near his boys.