You know, I understand kids who see Top Gun and want to become fighter pilots. Sure, they get blown up, but they drive fast motorcycles, win at beach volleyball and date Kelly McGillis. Now when I think about the submarine movies I’ve seen in my life, I wonder who actually chooses to work on one. I mean, people on subs are always cramped, stressed, half of them usually die, and there’s not a chick in sight. Have you ever seen a happy sub movie?

This weekend I saw K-19: the Widowmaker. Well, I really wasn’t expecting much from this one, and I’d have to say the same thing about it that I said about Black Hawk Down (a better movie): it’s a great movie I never want to see again.

Based on real events that occurred during the cold war, this is the story of a Russian submarine whose somewhat soft, fatherly captain (Liam Neeson) has been replaced by a less charismatic, more task-oriented leader (Harrison Ford). Casting those two well-known actors of similar caliber was a very clever way of maintaining the tension that develops between them as they struggle for control of the crew, when all hell inevitably breaks loose.

Of course, K-19 includes the mandatory stress scene you find in all submarine movies, the one where they dive really deep and the structure creaks under the increasing pressure, rivets pop, leaks develop and beads of sweat roll down the crew’s tense brows.

But otherwise K-19’s a relatively atypical sub movie. It’s not a movie about trying to be quiet and anticipating torpedoes, in fact it’s not even a war movie. The problem they are dealing with is a melting nuclear reactor that spews radiation into the boat (the effects thereof are shown in horrendously graphic, but not gratuitous detail). A dilemma ensues between accepting help from a nearby American destroyer, and exposing Russian technology to the enemy, or risking a nuclear explosion, which in the context of the cold war might trigger WWIII; between obeying the orders of the appointed leader or the advice of the loved one.

It’s an excellent movie. I was disturbed and engaged throughout. It’s a grand film for both Neeson and Ford, and they needed it. You’ll even forget the Irish lilt and the American drawl that seeps into their strange, affected Russian accents.