Daedal: ingenious. Dédale: a maze.

Welcome to the Montreal University Medical Care Center voice recognition system. If you know the five-digit number of the person you wish to call, dial it now. Otherwise, please say Appointment, Doctor, Department, or Employee.

I’m skipping the lengthy descriptions of each option, and the fact that you have to wait until all of them are explained before saying,

“Appointment”.

Appointment. For which clinic?

“Gynecology”.

Welcome to the Gynecology department. You have two options. To take an appointment, (uh… didn’t I just say that?) say Clinic. If you are a health care professional, say Doctor.

“Appointment”.

I don’t understand. Your options are Clinic or Doctor.

Oh right. To tell them I want an appointment for the second time, I have to say,

“Clinic”.

Clinic. For which hospital do you want an appointment?

“St-Luc”.

Welcome to Hôpital St-Luc. If you wish to take an appointment, say Appointment. &#*%$@! To reach a room, say Room.

“Appointment”. (for the third time. Shall we go for four?)

For which clinic?

“Gynecology” (for the second time).

Welcome to Gynecology. For an appointment, press 1 (Bingo! Four times!!!). For-

(BEEP - I press 1). A person answers. And of course, I tell them I want an appointment, in gynecology. Sigh.

This is an honest and unexaggerated account of my dealings with this phone system (I took notes). I have honestly not found a way to make it quicker.