Saturday night. The rain is pounding against the window. I’m lying in bed with my recently-dumped, pregnant friend L, and a selection of comfort foods. On the TV, Keanu, looking scrumptious by firelight, gazes deeply into our heroine’s eyes and delivers a line perfectly scripted to seduce. Charmed, she blushes over the rim of her wineglass, as he leans in for the perfect silver screen kiss.

I realize I’ve been holding a Dorito in mid-air between the bag and my lips, transfixed by the scene.

Me: Wow…
L: I know… God, I can’t wait to have wine again.