I was re-reading my about me section recently, and I thought that for the record, I should set certain things straight, as some things there are no longer true.

27. There is now only one piece of furniture in my apartment that is not from Ikea.

31. Addicted to travel? The year 2002 took me to Calgary, Texas, California, Baltimore, Venezuela, Belgium and Spain. I’m over the addiction, for a while.

33. Magic mushrooms are the only drug I’ve ever tried, and there was no effect. This is no longer true.

This summer, Paul gave T and me some hash brownies. He told me we were not to exceed the recommended dosage which was, we thought, ridiculously small. But thankfully, we obeyed.

We ate the innocent-looking brownies and put on Pulp Fiction. About half an hour later, I couldn’t stop laughing because T had sneezed. In trying to explain why I thought it was funny, I couldn’t get past “Sometimes, something happens…” before bursting out again.

Anyway, later on I got the munchies and went to the convenience store for food. There’s always some drunken throwback at my convenience store, and that time was no different. Aware that I was stoned, I tried to keep to myself as much as possible, and just to walk in, get a bag of Doritos, pay and walk out.

I get to the cash register, and there are a few people hanging around, talking to the cashier, but right now they’re quiet. The drunk comes up behind me and slurs something incomprehensible, but my mind hears “I’m going to kill you, you bastard”. All of a sudden I “realize” he’s robbing the place (the hand in his pocket MUST conceal a gun) and the people there are quiet because they’re scared. I think one of the patrons is giving me a look to tell me “get out of here and get the cops”. So I say to the cashier “I understand”, drop my Doritos on the counter and walk out.

Of course, in reality, some weird chick came in, brought a bag of Doritos to the counter and said “I understand” before walking out.

No, I didn’t call the cops.