Overheard at a party in NDG last night:

My drunken, 92-pound-soaking-wet friend: Men and women can’t be friends. The sex always gets in the way.
Me: Well, what about you and E?
MD92PSWF: Well, that’s different. We have a big age difference. Plus he likes really big women.
(pause)
In fact, he thinks you’re really hot.
Me (reeling from the verbal slap): I see. So, I’m a really big woman?
MD92PSWF: No, no… You should see his girlfriend, she’s really fat. I mean, you’re skinny in comparison.

Why can’t the expression be in vino veritas, in sobriety bitchslap?