I have a Wonder Woman mug at work. It’s my trademark mug and I love that mug. It feels right at home with all the other superhero stuff that adorns my office.

The nighttime cleaning crew have the habit of taking all dishes from offices, bringing them to the cafeteria to wash them, and then putting them away in the cafeteria cabinets. When this happens to my wonderful mug, someone invariably takes it in the morning for their coffee and brings it to their desk. Sometimes it disappears for days, and I always wonder whether I’ll ever see it again, if they’ll take it home, or break it. Deprived of my superpowers, I am haunted with horrible visions of who is drinking from my wonderful Wonder Woman mug, and what else they’re doing with it.

So, I left a post-it on the mug. Do not wash, it said.

The mug was washed.

I wrote another note, taped it to my desk, and put the mug on the note. Please do not remove this mug, it said.

The mug was removed.

I tried again, leaving dolls and CDs on top of the mug. All left intact the next day, minus mug.

Then this week, someone mentioned that they had heard a rumor that the cleaning crew is exclusively Spanish speaking. Desperate, I tested their theory with a last-ditch solution involving pictograms and a Babelfish translation:

And Eureka! The next morning, my mug awaited me, untouched, pristine and dirty. The sad saga of the wonderful Woman Woman mug is over, and never again shall I go without my superhero caffeine.