Last spring, I sat at Bagel Etc on the Main, across from my darling friend Gord, and told him why I didn’t think people should get married.

The problem with love is that we expect our partner to fulfill unreasonable expectations, ideals that don’t exist, I remember saying. Your partner makes you happy only for a time, and if we saw relationships as temporary, which they are, we’d recognize when love is over and move on, without all the pain of dashed hopes. People would always know from the start of a relationship that it wouldn’t last forever, and they’d be less resentful of each other when it ended, I argued. And if people were that reasonable, they’d never get married but they’d be happier, I said to my engaged friend.

What an asshole.

I sat in church yesterday, watching Gord unite himself to his love forever, and promise to grow old with her. I was astonished at how moved I was by this, but what they must feel for each other, to be happily entering into such an enormous commitment… the beauty of that completely overwhelmed me. I was thankful to be there to witness it, and yes, in a state of mind to relate, because I may have remained cynical otherwise. I thought it was a miracle that we can all feel that way, despite being mostly reasonable creatures. Everyone, especially love cynics and curmudgeons like I was, should hope to have that faith someday. My voice of reason, so chatty back in spring, is now quiet on the topic.

Later, at the reception, someone expressed this revelation of mine in a blessing to the newlyweds: May your marriage be modern enough to survive the times we live in, but old-fashioned enough to last forever.

A long and happy life together, Gordon and Doris.