A few days before he left for Vietnam, the ex and I went shopping together. While we were at the pharmacy making him a first-aid kit for Southeast Asia, he said, “OH! you know what really sucks!!?”

Me: What?
T: Well, actually, it’s a little delicate…
Me: What?
T: They’ve discontinued…
Me: Oh, yeah. I know. Lifestyles Discs condoms.
T: YES! Exactly!
Me: I know. That’s so stupid.

Lifestyles Discs condoms were great because they didn’t come in the little pouch like all the others do. They came individually in a package that was easy to open, and made it obvious which way to “orient” them. (Allo Maman!)

T: I have no goddamned idea why they would stop making those. They were so perfect!
Me: I’m told they feel a lot better to guys than anything else, too! Plus, so easy to open.
T: It’s not that, it was getting the right orientation, every time! This is the dumbest thing a company ever did.
Me: You should write them a letter.
T: I think I will. Anyway if I see any, I’m buying them all.
Me: He he, one advantage of spinsterdom is that I still have two full packages of them. Guess I really have to save them now!
T: Haha, seriously! Only to be used with the, um, discworthy?