Sometimes when I’m forced to walk down a dark street, I get annoyed if a man walks really close behind me. I briefly think to myself that even if he’s a law-abiding citizen, he should know better, he should know that it can freak chicks out. But then I remind myself that I really shouldn’t be annoyed with him, he’s not really doing anything wrong. How is my paranoia supposed to be his problem?

But then the other day I’m jogging in Parc Lafontaine, and some dodgy-looking guy on a bike startles me and then follows me around trying to pick me up. I wanted to say “Look, moron, there’s a rapist on the loose, so don’t be coming up behind women in parks. Someday you’ll get a kickboxer instead of a jogger”. But I just picked up the pace and headed for where there were people.

I get on the elevator this morning, by myself, and push the button to go up to my floor. As the doors close, a man dressed in plain clothes hurries in. He goes to the control panel, inserts a key and says authoritatively, “we’ll take a detour down to the parking garage”. Of course, in my pre-caffeine mind, there’s no difference between parking garage and, say, boiler room. I tense up and tighten my grip on my coffee, ready to throw the hot liquid in his face. But he hurries out into the parking garage without incident. I’m left wondering which one of us was being stupid.

I don’t want to be a misanthropist nor absolutely naïve. How do you know if you’re being overly mistrustful of the world, or just looking after yourself? Is the difference only in the outcome?